Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize