She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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