the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
