I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
