Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
