Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize