Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
