I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
