The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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