butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
