they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
