So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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