FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
