I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
