i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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