Betty ford says i'm here all night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
