but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
