sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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