I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize