I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
