There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
