I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
