Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
