Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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