so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
