its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
