we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
