Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
