You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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