You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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