if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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