So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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