Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
