WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
