"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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