so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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