There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
