Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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