Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
