tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
