I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
