Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
