so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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