Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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