STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
