That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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