True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
