I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
