some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize