as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
