I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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