you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
