i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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