I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
