and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize