He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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