Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
