I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
