Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
