The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
