he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
