wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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