you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
