I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
