You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
