I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
