I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
