he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
